Virginia Tech

This week I planned to write about organizing photographs. But as I considered the best ways to bring order to a mound of treasured pictures, my thoughts drifted to the images that have been flashing on my television screen of the murdered students at Virginia Tech. I thought about the horror and chaos that abruptly entered the lives of the victims, their families and their friends.

In the face of activities that seem so out of order on a bucolic college campus, it is hard to think about bringing order to material possessions. People are always more important than things and organization is a means to an end, not the end itself. It brings more time, more peace, more pleasure.

Even in the current tumultuous environment at Virginia Tech, there are behind-the-scenes organizers planning press conferences, gathering and cataloguing evidence, putting together memorial tributes.

When all the activity ceases, the family and friends are left with shards of remembrance, pieces of hopes unfulfilled. How do they heal and move through the pain? This is one of those times when a single organized approach does not meet the need. Everyone grieves in his own way and in his own time. This is the time to offer support and allow room for mourning.

I sifted through my memories to find the thing most helpful to me when my son died in his teens. The act that stands out is the kindness of a couple who had lost a child. They cried with me and told me, although it seemed impossible at this time, that I would survive the unbearable pain and find a way to live a life that honored my son’s memory. Their words rang with conviction and the agony of having been there. Now, I can bear witness that they spoke the truth.

So, today I don’t want to write about organizing pictures of the past. I want to wrap my arms around the families and friends of the victims and share their pain and confusion. I want to offer them the hope of healing.

Beverly and Kristen
www.KeyTransitions.net