Funeral Organization

I attended too many funerals last week. Come to think of it, I have attended too many funerals –period. It is always sad when someone passes and leaves those who love her or him to move on through this world without the comfort of their loved one. But funerals are inevitable and can be a true celebration of the life of the deceased.

A lot depends on how the funeral ceremony is organized. Some people receive a true gift from the deceased when they are left with clear instructions about what their loved one wished to have happen. In that circumstance, it is much easier to communicate those wishes to the funeral director and make necessary arrangements. Too often, however, no communication has taken place and the surviving family is left with the task of making decisions at a time when grief makes it more difficult.

Good funeral directors do a tremendous job in handling the details of the funeral, but there are still a lot of decisions that have to be made by the family. Here is a short list to think about. It is by no means inclusive of all the tasks that must be done:

Will there be a burial or cremation?
If burial, the coffin must be selected, the clothes for the deceased selected, the place of burial selected and arrangements made with management at the location.
If cremation, a repository for the ashes must be selected and a decision made about whether ashes will be scattered, interred or kept with the family.

Will there be a memorial service?
Will it be located at a church, a funeral home chapel, or at the graveside?
If at the church or funeral home, will you use pallbearers and who will they be?
What kind of flowers, if any, do you want for the coffin or receptacle?
Would you prefer for friends to send flowers or donate to a favorite charity?
Will there be music? What selections and how will they be performed?
How will family members be transported to the service and returned home?
Will the family receive visitors before or after the service and where is the reception?

How will you announce the death?
Newspaper obituary column is the traditional means of making the announcement. There may be select people that require a personal call. In these technological times, some people are selecting mass e-mail as a way to make friends and colleagues aware of funeral arrangements, sometimes providing a link to the newspaper obituary or funeral home web site.

Who will participate in delivering a message and or a eulogy?
These individuals need to be notified in time to schedule time to be there and to prepare their messages. They also need to know any favorite scriptures, verses or songs of the deceased or the family.


This is just the beginning of the many little decisions that have to be made at the time a funeral is being planned. Consider discussing your preferences with those you love and asking about theirs? It really is an act of love.


Beverly & Kristen
www.KeyTransitions.net